Todays assignment: Write about the worst lie someone told you. Why did they lie? How did you find out, and how did your discovery change your relationship?
Like the white queen in Lewis Carroll’s novel ‘Through the Looking-Glass’, I’ve sometimes believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast, and it is hard for me to tell if someone is lying, especially if that someone is a person I love.
I met my (still) husband more than 10 years ago. It was love at first sight, and we’ve had some great times and some not so great times, but that’s life, right? If you want the ups you also have to take the downs in between.
For all I knew he is a hardworking man and his work very often kept us from doing things together, like for instance going on vacations. Whenever I started planning a trip, it would take him forever to find out whether or not he could get vacation, and during the 8 years we were together we spend less than 3 weeks of vacation together: 2 Christmases and the week we got married.
Then, about 5 years ago, it was time for summer vacation again and, surprise, surprise, my husband couldn’t go, so I went alone. It was a great summer, and when I came home afterwards, everything was the way it used to be.
It wasn’t before half a year later that I learned what my husband had done while I was gone. He had to tell me, there was no way he could keep me from finding out, so he did.
He had had an affair that whole summer and that affair had come to haunt him, even so it was over by the time he told me.
I did some hard thinking and decided to forgive him. We can all slip, right? And he told me that he regretted what he had done and that things would change.
But nothing changed, and I still went on vacations alone and when we got invited, I just gave people the explanation my husband had given me about why he couldn’t come.
Then one day we were invited to a party at my sister and brother in law. As usual I went alone, and I told them why my husband couldn’t come, and then my brother in law said something that became the start of me questioning everything my husband said. He said: It’s impressing. You always have such interesting explanations why things have to be the way they are.
That really made me think and it marked the beginning of the end of my marriage, because as I started to question things and to look for possible other reasons, I found flaws in my husbands stories and I learned about some of his small and bigger lies.
I moved out 3 years ago and even though we are still married, I haven’t seen him for the last 2 years.
One day I will go and make him sign the divorce papers.