Bragging about my daughter yesterday made me think of a piece of advice I got many years ago, and which I want to forward to you.
I have younger siblings and always wanted to have children of my own.
When I finally got pregnant and also after I’d got my first beautiful little girl, I read every little piece of advice I could find about how to bring up children, but the more I read, the more confused and scared I got. There were so many different ways of doing it – how was I ever going to be a good mom?
I remember it as a really scary period full of self doubt, and then one day I came to talk to an older man. I don’t remember who he was or why we talked about bringing up children, but he told med to forget about all the things I’d been reading. Instead he said, I should pick the one single thing I really wanted my girls to get away from their childhood. The only thing else I’d have to do, was to give them all the love I had. That was it.
Since all the other – often opposite – advices I had got, didn’t work for me, I decided to give the old man’s advice a shot.
I decided that the one thing I wanted my children to learn, was to be sociable.
From that point on I thought about what I was saying and doing to my children in another way: was it something I’d heard others say – like my parents for instance – was it something I meant, or was it just something I said as a kind of reflex? Did it help me push my children in the right direction?
It was a good advice, which saved us many conflicts, because when you think about it: how often do we parents say no to our children or decide something our children are really capable of deciding themselves, just because that’s what we do as a standard?
I got happy children out of it. Children who knew how to behave well, who didn’t bully others, and who do well in life.
If you have children of your own and aren’t really sure about, if you’re doing it right, I want you to give the old man’s advice a chance. It worked wonders for me.